Pre Surgery Nerves
So the date has come around at last and surgery is tomorrow! As expected I’m feeling a whole range of emotions. From excitement to extreme anxiety. Obviously I’m quite nervous for the operation. I’ve never even been in surgery before. My first ever blood test was at my pre-op so going in to have major spine surgery is more than slightly terrifying. I am however also a little excited. One reason is obviously that my spine will be a lot straighter than it is right now but what I’m most excited about is the idea of growing. I’m only 154cm tall, definitely the smallest out of all my friends, so growing is a very exciting thing for me. Although I am quite excited I’d have to say my nerves most definitely out way that. To try to calm myself there have been a few things that I’ve done which have really helped.
One thing that helps me a lot to make me less nervous about any event, not just surgery is being prepared. A few weeks ago I went out with my Aunty and we went shopping for surgery essentials. We bought things like loose dresses for when I’m out of the hospital robes and a few toiletries like lip balm, hand cream, eye masks and moisturiser just to make my hospital stay a bit nicer. Although going out and buying these things made me a little nervous, making me realise that surgery was coming up quite quickly it also helped me relax. I was done. There was nothing else I had to go out and do. I could just relax knowing that I had everything I needed and I was fully prepared.
Another thing that has helped is just talking to people about the surgery. I thought telling people about what’s going to happen and what my surgeon is telling me would make me nervous but its not. I guess when I speak to people about it it helps me realise that its not the end of the world and I’ll be okay in the end. It helps me put it into perspective and see that this will all be for the better. When I am feeling really nervous about the surgery just talking to my friends or family makes me feel a lot calmer and they often help show me that I’ll be fine.
Reading about the surgery has also helped me feel prepared and aware of what will be happening. It’s very interesting to hear about the medical side of it from my surgeon and to hear what is most likely to happen but I’ve preferred reading people’s real experiences. Instead of hearing all about what happens I’m reading about what the emotional toll is which is something which the doctors don’t mention. I understand it won’t just be hard physically but also emotionally so hearing what helped others while they were going through the exact same thing has given me an idea of what it could be like for me. Also to hear about stories not medical terms I’ve been reading a few books based on Scoliosis. I’m currently reading the book Deenie by Judy Blume which is a fictional novel based around a girl who finds out she has scoliosis at the worst possible time. I’ve read a few of Judy Blume’s novels before and loved them so when I saw she wrote one based around scoliosis I got quite excited. I’m also reading a really great book called Straight Talk with the Curvy Girls. It’s the kind of book that you pick up and read from anywhere. It’s filled with heaps of girls and their mums personal stories.
After being at school today and knowing that I won’t be back for a while is increasing my nerves but being around so many supportive friends and family has helped me realise that they’ll always be with me and if I do find this really difficult they’ll be there for me. Yesterday I decided to make scoliosis cupcakes to celebrate my last few days with this curved spine.
My family came around tonight, with my Aunty coming to help me braid my hair (I’ve been told by everyone to do this before surgery.) After my family left my really close family friends came around and surprised me which was really nice and actually helped calm me as I was starting to feel really nervous. I’ve packed my bag and I’m ready to go tomorrow morning.
I’m starting to feel more nervous but also weirdly slightly excited. Just a few more hours now!!
12 Comments
Jen & David Shewring
Bethan! What a brilliant blog post from our amazing niece and cousin, you are such an inspiring and strong person, we are all thinking of you today and sending all our love.
Love Aunty Jenny, Uncle David, Lachie, Emma and Tom xoxo
Jenny Wilson
Best wishes for today Bethan. You seem very prepared for your journey both in body and in mind. Thank you for sharing your pathway and keep us informed of your recovery. You are one brave and strong young lady. xo
Narelle Coghlan
Almost there honey. We are all here for you. Just like you are reading Judy Blume – other girls will read your words one day and your strength will help them. You are in our thoughts. Xx
zoe shewring
Bethan you are amazing i wish i could be there to give you a big hug before your operation but i know you will be fine the hospital will take good care of you. Sending you all our love you’ve got this gorgeous brave girl XXX. LOVE GRANNY AND GRAMPY X
zoe shewring
Bethan you are amazing would have loved to have been there to have a cup cake with you and given you a big hug. We will be with you all the way tomorrow and you will be fine the hospital will take good care of you. Sending you all our love and will be thinking of you all day from the other side of the world you’ve got this. XXX
Kodie
Omg bethan that was so lovely! I know ur gonna smash it hopefully ur full on gas and say some stupid things😂 I one of the luckiest people in the world to have met u and it’s gonna be so sad not seeing like tomorrow. But I’ll make a deal with u, if u stay strong I’ll stay strong!💪🏻👌🏻 I legit love u so so soooooo much wishing u all the best💖💖💖💖💖💖💋💋💋💋
Kylie Seedy
All prepared well done!
Remember you are strong and have got this hands down!!
It’s not too late to borrow my camping nightie if you want 😉
Ann Butcher
Have been thinking about you on & off today so it was wonderful to get your post.
Will continue thinking of you with positive, thoughts of a successful operation and an amazing recovery.
With love,
Ann Butcher. 💘
Cathryn Shewring
So proud of you. We’ve got this. Bring it on!
Sandra Hogan
Bethan, u have a lot of family and friends on your side wishing u all the best. It is normal to be nervous as u would not be human if u weren’t. Good luck and look forward to your recovery journal. We will be thinking of you tomorrow. 😍👍😍
Nicole Evans
Good luck for tomorrow Bethan! You’re such an amazing young woman. Such an inspiration to so many out there. Thank you for your sharing your wonderful blog with us and openly expressing your experiences, your thoughts and feelings thus far. I know you’ll smash tomorrow and the recovery! We’ll be thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery 😘😘 Love Nicole 😘😘
Peter Moulder
You have been a star so far Bethan and will smash it tomorrow. Love Pete